December 2009
2 posts
“I wish my [senior] paper was asexual… so it would do itself.”
– Derek Scharf
August 2008
1 post
June 2008
1 post
May 2008
2 posts
March 2008
2 posts
“You don’t dare touch a toilet bowl,
Yet you swim in a giant turd pool.
...”
– Jared Pierson
January 2008
2 posts
“Sleep is where you are stuck in a comatose state for at least 8 hours or until...”
– Scott Sturges
November 2007
2 posts
“yep i found an atom once . it was just laying there on a crate behind a Chinese...”
– CooCoo - Yahoo answers, below is link to questionDalton’s Model of an Atom? - Yahoo! Answers
“three teats.Be my Hand, she pleaded, and well rule the Seven Kingdoms together,...”
– Spam Email
October 2007
5 posts
Nigerian Scammer
temi010: Hello mike
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: Hey
Josh Stevens: My name's Josh
temi010: How are you today
Josh Stevens: I'm good
temi010: My name is John too
temi010: how is things
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: Good
Josh Stevens: Settle the beavis
Josh Stevens: and cathy lee jones
temi010: u there?
Josh Stevens: YES
temi010: Ok
Josh Stevens: Make that Kelly, Cathy Lee was fired
Josh Stevens: LOL
temi010: so i have somethin to discuss with u Jones
temi010: Am living in the United kingdom
temi010: U?
Josh Stevens: United States
temi010: That cool of you
temi010: Well let get started
Josh Stevens: Okay
Josh Stevens: I need a noogie
Josh Stevens: Dang it
Josh Stevens: Wait, I just got one
Josh Stevens: Okay
Josh Stevens: Where were we
temi010: i need a laptops for my friends
temi010: which products do u sell
temi010: ?
temi010: lee
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: I sell donuts
temi010: Pls talk to me Lee
temi010: ok
Josh Stevens: I am
temi010: i need 3 pieces of Dell laptops
temi010: do u sell that product?
Josh Stevens: Yes, I have some pieces of dell products
temi010: ok
Josh Stevens: I have a dell indy nosebone, is that sufficient?
temi010: so How much do u sell one ?
temi010: and which dell product do u sell?
Josh Stevens: I sell Dell Indy Nosebones, is that what you are looking for?
temi010: no
temi010: dell D600 or D500
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: hmmm
Josh Stevens: No
Josh Stevens: I have a Dell DCHUNG LI which is close to d600 and d500
temi010: Which laptop do u get for now
temi010: i need to buy it?
Josh Stevens: the dchung li
temi010: ok
temi010: how many do u have in store
Josh Stevens: 1
Josh Stevens: 400
temi010: i need 2 of it
temi010: and it is a good laptop
Josh Stevens: I have another one, but its model is the Dhadooken.
temi010: and which pentium?
BUZZ!!!
temi010: u there
Josh Stevens: 4
Josh Stevens: -2
temi010: answer me now
Josh Stevens: Pentium 2
temi010: or dont you want to sell to me?
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: I want sell
Josh Stevens: I WANT SELL
temi010: ok
temi010: so i will buy the pentium 2
Josh Stevens: Pentium 2 Dchung li and Dhadooken
Josh Stevens: Okay
temi010: i will buy 1 of the dchung li
temi010: Dhadooken pentium 2
temi010: ok
Josh Stevens: taco
temi010: u there
temi010: but why are u so slow
temi010: Well how much will the two be
Josh Stevens: How much would you like to pay?
temi010: al togethere
temi010: i need it urgently
Josh Stevens: okay
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: How much are you willing to pay
Josh Stevens: Are you calling me a slow poke?
temi010: no
Josh Stevens: Okay
temi010: how much do u want to sell it
Josh Stevens: How much do you want to buy it for
temi010: then i will tell you how much i will pay
temi010: ok
temi010: but i have not know the prices alright
Josh Stevens: Well, this is the best computer out there. The hard drive is 400 Zotzabytes!
BUZZ!!!
Josh Stevens: If I were to run a pentium 4 on it, the computer would 'splode!
temi010: u there
temi010: ok
temi010: so how much do u want to sell it for me last price
temi010: no
temi010: dont runs anythin there
temi010: i like it tht way
temi010: ok
temi010: just tell me the amount you wish to sell it
temi010: so that i can proceed with the payment
Josh Stevens: Well even though a zottabyte is 1000000000000000000000 megabytes...
Josh Stevens: 20 bucks
Josh Stevens: $20
Josh Stevens: Canadian, because if you have followed politics lately, Canada now owns America
temi010: ok
temi010: so how much do u want to sell the two together
Josh Stevens: $40
temi010: calculate it and tell me
Josh Stevens: canadian
temi010: ok
Josh Stevens: How will you send the payment? Fake paypal?
temi010: ok
temi010: is that the total amount for the two?
Josh Stevens: Yeah, how will you send the payment? Fraudulent paypal?
Josh Stevens: TACO PAYPAL!!!! HUH PUNK
temi010: No i will pay you with HSBC International Wire Transfer
Josh Stevens: So do you need my bank account number?
temi010: No i will like to pay with HSBC international Wire transfer
temi010: will u call me now
temi010: so tha i ca give you my personal number
Josh Stevens: I don't have a voice
temi010: ok
Josh Stevens: So I'm afraid we cannot do this transaction
Josh Stevens: Stop being such a doo doo flexenheimer dost hoven me dostoevsky. DON'T HATE THE PLAYER HATE THE GAME!
WatchPhotography Class Photos: Rule of Thirds
September 2007
8 posts
Red Goat Blog » Woot Shirts →
Woot Shirts 2nd chance offer list
“As I walked through the north shore I felt a faint corn dog that tickled my...”
– Chubby Dolphin
ZOMBO →
August 2007
3 posts
WatchCan I buy your house? (via Revver » Can I Buy Your House?)
Macbook Backflip
Melissa C: Hi, my name is Melissa C. Welcome to Apple! How may I help you today?
Me: Can I do a backflip on to my MacBook that I just bought a few days ago?
Melissa C: I'm not sure I understand your question. Can you elaborate?
Me: Well, if I were to stand to the side of my laptop and then jump and do a backflip and land on top of my wonderful Apple Laptop, would the warranty still be applicable? If not, it should be!
Melissa C: No it would not. Would you like a link to the warranty information?
Me: Okay, I will be doing a backflip in a few seconds. Thanks for your time :)
June 2007
5 posts
April 2007
17 posts
Friday da 13th
Um… Today is Friday the 13th. Pretty nifty, eh? Good luck.
Uncyclopedia →
This is some random site that is a parody of Wikipedia. Kinda funny.
Happy Easter
Well, it is now easter. Uhh, Happy Easter. Anyway, enjoy the website.
“The lady you just heard once killed a wildebeest.”
– Josh’s answering machine
WatchJared likes to lick cars. This is from the Red Goat Podcast
Nat*an Prank
wheel of small intestine: you owe me a salamander
nate: wut
wheel: You do
nate: how do i owe u a salamander
wheel: You know!
nate: no i don't
wheel: Don't deny
nate: wut da heck u talkin bout
wheel: stop it
wheel: YOU OWE ME A SALAMANDER
nate: who the heck are u
wheel: starts with a j
wheel: ends with a h
nate: o hey josh
wheel: hey duke
nate: sup
wheel: dude
nate: wut
wheel: tte
wheel: you owe me a salamander
nate: wuts up with da salamander
wheel: you owe me one
nate: how
wheel: You know
wheel: that thing that happened
nate: no i don't member
wheel: remember the pancakes
nate: where was this i might member
wheel: at the homeless center
wheel: remember
nate: no i don't
wheel: you had that pancreas pain?
nate: hmmmm
wheel: and I rushed you to the hospital
nate: u have me confused with someone else
nate: this is nathan [certain last name] from [certain school]
wheel: and with your hopeless body laying in the bed your last words were "Josh, if I make it out of this I owe you a salamander".
nate: ok now ur just making it up
wheel: what the heck?
wheel: maybe you don't remember it with the medicine?
nate: i wouldn't say a salamander or anything like that i would thank u and that would be it
wheel: Thats the thing
wheel: I was talking about how I wanted a salamander at the homeless shelter
nate: i really don't member
wheel: I can't believe it
wheel: I saved your dang life
nate: i swear to god it wasn't me
nate: cuz i would have it on my medical records
wheel: When was the last time you checked your medical records?
nate: last month
wheel: this was 27 days ago
nate: no cuz i was never at a homless shelter 27 days ago
wheel: oh ya this was a dream that i had
nate: o lol
wheel: I was just kidding the whole time
wheel: I never even had the dream
nate: o
wheel: I got you
nate: yeps lol
wheel: if I was a rich girl nanananananananana
wheel: I will now send this email to other people
nate: k
wheel: I will publish it to a website
nate: o ok
wheel: perhaps 2 websites
nate: maybe
Areehaw →
This is a pretty nifty web site. Yeah, it is.
